Judge NOT

We live in a world where everyone has an opinion about everything and everyone, which is very okay! But many at times, they cease to be opinions but rather callous judgments. And when you are born of African heritage, where tradition or culture dictates that you have to do certain things the accustomed way; you experience a whole new level of judgment should you deviate from the norm.  It’s not any different in my country Uganda, or should I say it does get worse sometimes. Am not saying other ethnic groups don’t have traditional beliefs, they do, but they exercise them with a degree of flexibility.

Sometimes, events may not always play out as we wish or the path our society deems right. People silently go through hell or unspeakable situations but we judge them on face value. We don’t see their inner soul bleeding (some people are very good at hiding this); but, we base on hearsay, our personal beliefs, that which we were taught at a young age, that which we think is solely right to cast our verdict portion. We chose to judge them! This judging prevents us from understanding truth.

When people make life decisions on how to go about their lives, they shall be judged for it. I don’t know if there’s a life timeline on when to do what, issues like when to have kids, when to marry, who to love etc…This reminds me of when one of the beautiful journalists in this country succumbed to cancer early this year….a lot of talk was going on about how she didn’t leave any offspring’s behind. With no idea on what her choices/options/priorities could have been; the “all-knowing” rushed to showcase their shallow ludicrous thinking. We need to understand that we want different things at different times and it’s irrational to expect someone to fit in your miniature puzzle of utopia. And for a fact, some people don’t want that-which we think everyone should experience. They just don’t.

Recently, a not so close friend posted on her face book timeline that if you are a lady aged 30 and you haven’t given birth yet, then, there’s something wrong with you. I helped myself so hard not to comment on her post because I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Whatever that “wrong” is I don’t know and don’t want to know.It’s ridiculous to see people carry on with their voluntary ignorance rather than liberate themselves from myopic thinking. She made it seem like a woman’s life ends at 30…We all have a different perception on how life should be lived and how people should act, but when you think yours is the only true path you forever chain yourself to judging others.

The truth is that there is no one correct path in life. We all have our own distinctive journey. A path that’s right for someone else won’t necessarily be a path that’s right for you. Their journey isn’t right or wrong, or good or bad. It’s just different. We seem to have a clear idea on how people should live their lives but zero idea on how to live our own. Lately it’s pretty hard to seek for advice from someone or get their opinion, it’s all judgment stained. Be one to give judgment-free advice.

Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t ever judge other people ,to some extent, I think judging is embedded in our DNA, though I think some individuals suffer from extremely high levels of it; they probably had a judge-pill overdose. We all judge people and I’m not an exception; but while it’s more of a natural instinct, try to catch yourself before you speak. You can’t get your words back. Pause. See if you can understand where the person may be coming from. Try to rephrase your critical internal thought into a positive one, or at least a neutral one. This is something am gradually learning myself; I hope to judge less and ultimately not judge at all. Are you?

Our minds naturally search for the negative, but if we try, we can almost always find something good about another person, even in those we least expect. Be supportive and judge less, the world has many of those already. With that said, I hope am not judging those that judge others. …..curious paradox……funny ……

 

“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” Steve Maraboli.