Little Life Insights ….at 36.

In the last 35 years of my life, I have gained a little insight about life in general. Like many of you, I’m a forever student in this thing called life. Reaching my new 36th age is a humble reminder of how long and how short life really is.  I am blessed to have made it this far, yet there’s still so much ahead. As a tribute to life, here’s my take on some of life’s lessons. Also, life can’t be really summarized in just 16 points ……

1. Allow your intuition to have a voice too. Perhaps, listen to it a little more.
2. Kindness and Gratitude are everything. You don’t ever need a reason for either.
3. Life is transformative – It’s okay to feel lost or feel like you don’t know what you’re doing with your life — you’re not expected to have it all figured out because it’s a process. What’s important, however, is that you don’t use “being lost” as an excuse to sit in stagnation. It’s important that you toil in the language of action more than that of contemplation and thought.

Feeling lost is normal and no matter how “put together” everyone around you seems, when you dig deeper, you’ll realize that they’re all just “figuring it out” as they go. Feeling lost is a sign of growth. It means that the things you once valued are no longer the things that matter to you today. And do you know why? It’s because you are no longer your younger self.

4. You can’t change anyone. Not their behavior, their perspective, their opinions etc… People are complex, and have years of ingrained beliefs and a lifetime of experience that makes them who they are. Expecting change and getting upset when it doesn’t happen is a recipe for misery. This I’m really struggling to learn.
5. Take care of yourself.  Do things solely for your happiness.  It is acceptable to be selfish. You are important. Be unapologetically yourself. That builds confidence, which cannot be purchased.
6. That said, the person you are today is solely responsible for the adult you want to be tomorrow. You owe nothing to your younger self, but you owe everything to your present and future self. Want better and do better.
7. Appreciate yourself. Appreciate others. Don’t compare the two. Every second you spend comparing your life to someone else’s is a second spent wasting yours; so stop comparing and create your own definition of success instead. The truth is that each one of us is unique. We all have our own story to keep writing and our own paths to keep walking.
8. Everything is pretty much possible to achieve and everyone who tells you otherwise is a cynical person who’s given up on the abundance of beauty that life has to offer. The truth is, people will always project their fears and limiting beliefs onto you. What you must do is build a shield against this noise so you can protect yourself from it.

But here’s the caveat: If you’re waiting for someone to give you the green light to get started on designing that life you want, you’ll be waiting forever. Nobody owes you anything. Nobody is going to come along and push you onto the path of what you desire. You must push yourself. Nobody is going to come along and give you the approval to be yourself. The only approval you need is your own.

9. In an age of speed and acceleration, aim to slow down. When you live slow, you become more mindful and intentional about how to live your life, and you begin to take care of your body, mind, and soul so that they can then take care of you. I’m really learning this.
10. You grow rich when you seek new experiences, not material things. Material things break. They collect dust, they are but fleeting. They might even be forgotten over time. Experiences, however, live with you forever. When I look back, I remember my first skydiving, the wine tasting trip in Tuscany, my first Caribbean cruise….so many experiences and moments I couldn’t trade for anything. When I look back, I remember experiences, not things. Someone once wrote that “a mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.”
11. Make time for the people you love and surround yourself with optimistic people that uplift you—it’s the people you share your life with that make living worthwhile. ‘Adulting’ has taught me that alot of intentionality is needed for this.
12. Realize that not everyone you meet is meant to stay around forever. People will leave you. On the contrary, you will also leave others. Maybe you already left some. More importantly, gracefully let go of the things, places and people that are not meant for you, those that you have outgrown and accept things the way they are. Your inner peace and mental health are everything!
13. Learn to say NO. Such a short word that only consists 2 letters and yet the hardest thing to say. Learn the art of saying no and to learn when to say it without feeling guilty. You need to know how to respect yourself enough to decline the things you don’t want to do.
14. Keep laughing. Prioritize yourself. Live life to the fullest. Talk. Express. Believe. Inquire. I could write a whole mini-book on this!
15. Don’t take life so seriously. You’re literally a small speck of dust in this vast universe. You can die at any moment. Stop pretending otherwise – go on and live your life. You may think you have control over your life, but really you don’t. Goals are important, and challenges are exciting, but don’t forget to savor the journey in the process. Live in the moment with a decent amount of planning for the future, while realizing that life will throw you hundreds of twists and turns whether you are ready or not!  Embrace the craziness and enjoy the ride. Live fearlessly!
16. Remember this …… Your life lies before you like a sheet of driven snow, be careful how you step in it for every step will show. …and if you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one. It’s never too late…..

If you’ve read this far, I hope that you have found at least one thing that resonates with your life and helps you on your journey. Also, care to add to this list in the comments section…. we are all life students – remember.

Love & Light

Deborah