Happy 33rd Birthday, You Incredible Woman

Tomorrow 27th March, I turn 33!

So many people moan about getting older (I have quite some friends in this bracket…), but to me: There’s no greater gift than another birthday. What could be better than being given an opportunity to be here, to keep living, to experience the highs and lows of life, the unexpected twists and the comforting consistencies?

We are never guaranteed this thing called life, but for many reasons, we live on and hope to wake up to see yet another day. If you know me, you know I’m such an obsessively grateful person. I do feel particularly thankful as my birthday rolls around each year. I am here and, while it’s certainly not all sunshine and rainbows, I am so glad to be adding another candle to my birthday cake. Many a time, we forget all we have been given, may we never forget to be thankful for LIFE.

Last year, on the eve of my 32nd birthday, I wrote myself a letter. I purposefully haven’t gone back to read it in case it sways the tone of this post. Hopefully, after having published this one, the message will be that life has trended upwards.

While my 32^nd year may not have started on a high like I envisioned it, I certainly feel a sense of recovery, or at least, I have made some good strides in the right direction. I’m in a better mental health space than I was when I last wrote myself a birthday message. If you missed that, you can read it here. And no, I haven’t mastered this thing yet, but I purposefully fight on each day to get better.  I would be lying if I said I haven’t had hell days, days where I have retracted from everything and everyone, days where everything has seemed blurred …. But, wanting to be better not only for me but my mama, family and friends has kept me going.

Seeing how different my life is now, compared to even one year ago, I’m excited thinking about how different 33 will be. I know all is blue and gloomy right now with the disruptions, agony and pains COVID-19 is causing. But I choose to be hopeful, calm and positive that this too shall soon pass. There are always new things on the horizon, and I love thinking of all the surprises life holds. I have seen how much it’s possible to improve oneself in a short time, I want to keep getting better and hopefully wiser.

I’m a little more authentic and courageous these days. Believing more and more in my inherent value and worth, I’m less prone to insecurity and fear. I’m taking more risks as a person, making decisions out of conviction, and freer from what others may think of me. If this is the trajectory that comes with progressing in age, then bring it on!

I’ve learned to embrace self-love even more. And while I’ll always be a perpetual student in this journey, I’ve made a cautious decision to never stop striving to better myself even when the odds seem stacked against me. We ought to love ourselves so much to stop accepting any less even from ourselves.

We can push and stretch those limits to improve our lives, mental health, relationships with ourselves and others. With friends, I’ve really embraced the fact that friends are all unique pieces of a pie. Some will be lifetime friends that are next to family, some are social friends, some acquaintances. I’ve learned to appreciate the various types and unique forms of value each friend brings, how much and what kind of energy I invest to whom. I’m blessed with some good friends and for that I’m so grateful.

So here I am, a few hours away from 33, but one thing holds true for me. I am grateful for all of LIFE. I will continue loving and taking care of me, loving those that God has placed in my life while extending kindness and love to that stranger.

 

Sending you Love and Light

Deborah